At 6:00 am morning I sat cross legged on my yoga mat and tried to remain still and focused while the car alarm that had been going off for about a half hour honked persistently outside my window. Getting “zen” in the middle of Harlem can be quite difficult no matter the time of day. As I tried to focus on the words of the beautiful meditation I was listening too I couldn’t stop thinking of a time about five years ago when I lost my patience with my dog and threw him in my apartment after spending a half hour trying to get him to come in the door. He was obviously hurt. I hate that I did that. I literally love my dog more than just about anything else in this world. The meditation said “I forgive myself, I release myself,” but I just couldn’t forgive myself for that. Not today. Hopefully another day. I’m sure I’ve done worse things in my life. I know I have, but for whatever reason this one carries the most shame and guilt at the moment. What, you ask, does this have to do with body peace and self love?
“Acceptance is not giving up. Acceptance is giving in to the Universe’s plan for you, which is always so much greater than anything you could conceive with your silly little mind. Acceptance lets you off the hook and gives you freedom.”
-Heather Waxman, BODYpeace
I am currently reading the book BODYpeace by Heather Waxman and Kasey Arena and woah. The book is challenging me to get real with my thoughts and feelings about my body and myself in general. So, I am in the midst of digging everything up, and I mean everything, up! As Heather puts it,
“Your BODYpeace healing process is a detox; your emotions have to come up in order for them to be healed.”
So many women these days, so many of my friends, have extremely distorted and negative body images. One of my friends who is going through some major depression and anxiety (so much so she had to be hospitalized and is currently on suicide watch) told me the other day that depression is the best diet because she’s no longer hungry. She’s so happy that she isn’t hungry and she’s literally wasting away in front of my eyes. I don’t know that I have a single friend right now who doesn’t have some sort of disordered eating. I myself currently struggle with disordered eating and negative body image (much more on that soon).
I am really looking forward to closely examining all of my baggage. I feel compelled to share this journey here. I hope that someone else can be inspired by what I’m going through.
Have any of you read this book? Or are you currently reading it? I’d love to connect!
Love and light,