“We are unable to forget ourselves and love others.” -Amma
I came across this quote while reading through the teachings of Amma, Mata Amritanandamayi, on her website Amma.org yesterday. It hit me like a ton of bricks. This woman has dedicated her life to functioning from a place of pure love, and spreading that love to as many people as possible.
To be honest, I find my motivations tend to be much more complected. Much more self centered. After much soul searching I know that at my core I want to do good in this world. I want to use my innate creativity to be a positive force in this world. To make a difference. I want to create art from a place of pure love.
Yet, almost every time I have an creative idea I find that selfish thoughts instantly pop into my head:
How is this going to benefit me? How is this experience going to serve me in the future? Will this look good on my resume? Can I make money from this? Could this be the start of a business?
These thoughts drain the joy out of my creativity. They crowd out the love and replace it with fear.
When I’m working from a place of selfish motivation my perfectionist mind take over. This (insert creative idea here) has to be perfect because if it isn’t it will reflect bad on me, people won’t take me seriously, people won’t pay for it. Fear takes over. Fear becomes more important than sharing love.
I loose interest in the idea and it never comes to fruition. Like the quote above says, I’m unable to forget myself and just love others.
I wasn’t always like this. When I was a child I would constantly draw, build, sculpt. All of the time. I’d gift my little masterpieces to my friends and family. I didn’t think about getting something in return. I just loved to draw and create. It made me happy. It made others happy. Period.
That little girl is still in me. She is me. I am going to get that pure love and joy back.
Next step: Digging into the reasons WHY my motivation for being creative have shifted so dramatically since childhood.
Love & light,